Help Newborn! 10 Tips for Young Mothers and First Time Parents

Expecting a new baby is an exciting and daunting period at any time of life. Every first time parent and young mother wonders what giving birth is like, what it will be like to be looking after a baby 24 hours a day, whether they will be able to cope, dread the scary possibility of post natal depression and wonder whether they can be the kind of parent they want to be. Once your precious newborn has arrived you will probably begin wondering what to do now!

Newborn Help For Young Mothers

First off, being a young mother can be truly wonderful so don't listen to all the negative stuff that's said about young mothers - you can be just as good a parent as an older Mom. I've worked with many young mothers who were absolutely committed to breast feeding, having as natural a birth as possible and accepting the responsibility that parenthood brings.

Newborn Help For First Time Parents

Whether you are considered young or not, every new parent wants to get it right and enjoy the first precious months with their newborn. I've written here for you, my top 10 tips for first time parents to enable that to happen and to help stop you getting into bad habits that can become very difficult and stressful to change later on. These are all things I wish I had known the first time around (and paid attention to!).

This is tip number one because it's the most important! Everyone will tell you to sleep when your newborn sleeps and it's good advice. At first you may be on a high from being a new mum and think you don't need to sleep - but losing out on sleep over a long period of time will eventually catch up with you, and then it can be almost impossible to catch up on the sleep you need.

If you sleep when your newborn baby sleeps you will have more energy for the coming months and you will definitely need it! Your baby will probably start teething by around 6 months and during those months you may be surviving on very little sleep. If you are not in massive amounts of sleep deficit you will find it easier to cope with less sleep.

The process of labour and birth can also be very tiring. Sleeping lots in the early days will help your body recover quickly and enable you to have all the energy you need to meet your babies needs.

If you're having difficulty settling your baby and they are stuggling to sleep then read My Baby Can't Sleep!

Developing a strong bond with your baby is so important (for both mums and dads). The bond you develop as you get to know each other in the first few days, weeks and months will affect your child's psychological health throughout his life.

The two main ways of creating a strong bond are to have:

1. Plenty of Skin to Skin Contact

2. Lots of Eye Contact

When you first gave birth to your baby s/he would normally be put on your tummy so that you are skin to skin - this is because skin to skin contact is so vitally important.

In the morning or at bedtime, keep your top half naked and let your baby be naked (apart from a nappy if you choose) - and cuddle! Wrap a blanket around you both if it's chilly.

Another good time for skin to skin contact is bath time but getting into a bath with a newborn on your own is tricky! If you have a partner or relative around ask them to help. You get into the bath first and then ask your relative to pass you the baby. They will need to take baby from you before you get out as well. If your breast feeding you will generally have more skin to skin contact just through the act of feeding, so this is especially important for bottle feeding mums and babies.

Your baby will love looking into your eyes and getting to know you by doing this. Feeding time whether you're breast or bottle feeding, is a great time to share some quality eye contact and strengthen the bond between you.

I wish someone had told me about this technique when I was walking up and down the living room for hours trying to soothe my baby by jiggling and rocking! The pat/shhh technique works brilliantly for soothing most newborn babies as it imitates the sounds they are used to hearing in the womb.

Hold your baby on your shoulder and pat rythmically and firmly in the centre of their back. While you're doing this put your mouth near his ear and whisper a long shhhh sound. Do this repeatedly in time with your patting. Remember not to blow right into his ear as you could damage it, just blow past his ear. You may feel a little silly doing this at first but it really works. Read The Baby Whisperer Solves All Your Problems for the full explanation and loads of other tips to help you with your new baby.

Young babies also like to be swaddled (wrapped up tightly). Think about buying a swaddling blanket or just use a sheet. You can ask your midwife to show you how to do it properly.

One of the things that is often over looked in the early days is that babies can get over stimulated very quickly. Of course playtime is an essential part of parenting and it's good to have a few cool baby toys to entertain with but be aware not to over do it in the first few months. If your baby does get over stimulated you may find it hard to settle him down and for him to sleep when he needs to. This then results in your baby getting over tired. When your baby gets over tired he will cry, scream and get very stressed out and so will you!

Very young babies can really only stay awake happily for around 30 minutes. If he has become over tired and over stimulated go and sit somewhere quiet and dark with him and use the pat/shhhh technique explained above to quiet him down and soothe his nerves.

 Planning for meal times, bath time, trips out and bedtime make life a lot simpler, especially when you're tired. it's as simple as just making sure you have everything ready before you start your task. For instance, before you bath your baby make sure you have everything you will need afterwards, ready beforehand, such as a clean towel, clean clothes, nappy, a bed time bottle.

When you're taking baby out (even if it's only for a little while!) you will need to take most or all of these things: spare clothes, nappies, wipes, nappy sacks, bottom cream, a spare top for you, breast pads, bottles if you are bottle feeding, an extra blanket.

Every new mum longs for sleep and you can start teaching your baby good sleep habits right from the beginning. Put your baby down to sleep when he/she is still awake - ideally you want your baby to learn right form the start to fall asleep on his own. If you make the effort to do this, you will save yourself lots of pain later.

Babies that learn to fall asleep while feeding or being rocked will need this every time they want a sleep. It may not bother you at the beginning but 10 months down the line you will find it rather wearing when they are waking 8 times a night needing to be rocked!

If you teach your newborn to sleep well, you will sleep well, and when you're getting enough sleep you will be able to handle the other challenges of parenting a lot more easily.

Teaching your baby that night time is for sleeping is a good lesson for her to learn straight away. You'll do this by creating a beditme routine which could consist of bath, PJ's, feed and quiet cuddle. Rather than come back into the noisy living room, it's a good idea to take your baby to the bedroom for his bedtime feed. Have the lights low and don't have your tv on. If you need to do something read a book or magazine instead. Keep outside noise and stimulation as minimal as possible. You might want to use a blackout blind or heavy curtains so that the room is dark in the summer months.

When your newborn wakes in the night, again, keep it quiet and dark. Talk in whispers if you need to speak - after a little while your baby will learn that this is quiet time, not play time, and it will help him learn to sleep through the night.

Look after yourself and make sure you still have fun! It's hard to find time for yourself with a new baby to look after but do try to set aside half an hour to do something you enjoy every day. Remember to treat yourself to new things, as well as look after yourself emotionally - if you're having a bad day talk to someone and have a cry if you need to. If you've not been able to get back into your old clothes buy yourself something new. Look after yourself physically - get as much sleep as you can and eat a heathy diet.

If you neglect your needs you could start to resent your baby.

Tip 8 - Socialise

At first a lot of new mums don't want to go out much because they are happy at home with their babies and there are lots of visitors coming to see you and your baby. Unfortunately, the visitors will slowly drop off and you might find yourself isolated and bored. Make an effort to socialise with friends, other new mums and family either by going out or inviting people to visit you at home. Isolation can bring on feelings of depression and this will not help you or your baby.

On this page you'll find links to two highly recommended books I would give to any new mother no matter what age you are.

Both have loads of information on your babies physical, psychological and emotional needs at every stage of their development.

Gaining knowledge about what your baby needs will really help you be the kind of parent you want to be.

Most young mothers are on low incomes and learning how to manage your money is one the skills you will master over time. One way to radically reduce your costs is to buy second hand equipment, clothes and toys where ever possible. Some items your baby will only need for a short while (such as a pram) so unless you are loaded there is no point in spending hundreds of dollars on them.

And Finally...

I hope you've found these 10 tips for first time parents help you and your newborn! Newborns can be a bit of a mystery until we get into our stride and get to know the new little person in our lives - but a little bit of knowledge about their needs can go a long way to make your time together as stress free and as enjoyable as possible.

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